Are you S.E.E.N.? - What's really going on when you lose it with your teen.
Sep 19, 2025
We all want to feel seen: understood, valued, and accepted for who we are. But sometimes, when we’re reacting to our kids in ways we don’t like (snapping, shutting down, walking on eggshells), there’s more going on beneath the surface.
This is where S.E.E.N. comes in. It’s a simple but powerful tool to pause and check in with yourself:
- S – Scared of something
Are you afraid your child’s choices will hurt them—or reflect badly on you? Are you scared they’ll fail, or that your relationship will never improve? - E – Embarrassed by something
Maybe it’s their messy room, the way they talk back, or their public behavior. Embarrassment often signals deeper concerns about judgment—from others or even from yourself. - E – Expecting something
Expectations can be silent saboteurs. You expected respect. You expected them to listen, to be ready, to appreciate. When those expectations go unmet, frustration builds. - N – Needing something
Support. Peace. Appreciation. A break. We all need things—but rarely voice them. When those needs aren’t met, it shows up in our parenting.
So next time you find yourself overreacting, take a breath and ask: Am I S.E.E.N.? Which of these is showing up for me right now?
And then—bring that same curiosity to your child. Could they be scared, embarrassed, expecting something, or needing something, too?
Compassion starts with being honest with yourself. When you feel seen, it becomes easier to truly see your child—not just their behavior, but what’s driving it.
That’s where connection begins.
Want to learn how to handle hard parenting moments with more calm and confidence? Schedule a free, 30-minute consultation at https://calendly.com/talktofern/discovery-call.
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