Buckle Up, Throw Out Parenting Playbook
Nov 05, 2025
“Buckle up...and throw everything you think you know out the window.”
This was a reply to my question, “What’s one piece of advice you wish someone had given you when your child became a teenager? I love it!
As I’ve said many times, as our kids grow and change, we need to grow and change as parents. What worked with a child of 5 or 9 won’t work with a teen. Out the window!
It’s time to buckle up for a ride unlike any you’ve experienced. The old ways won’t serve you well anymore.
𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞. Your time as the final authority with ultimate power is over.
*𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: This doesn’t mean that you give in, give up, and let chaos reign. There’s this thing called a boundary which comes into play. (We’ll get to that in another post.)
𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬: 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧. 𝐖𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦.
Perhaps your child responds to threats, coercion and punishments. My way or the highway. Your teen may give in and do it your way; however, there is a great cost to both of you.
The teenage years are a period of rapid change—not just for your child, but for you as a parent. They’re growing more independent, questioning authority, and figuring out who they are, often in ways that feel defiant or confusing. If your methods aren’t working anymore, it’s time to change them.
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐩𝐭. Be prepared to listen more than you speak, show empathy even when they push your buttons, and allow for their mistakes and learning. Teenagers are exploring life and their identity. They need a safe space at home where they feel supported, not controlled.
Ultimately, parenting teens requires flexibility and a willingness to learn new things about them—and yourself. Hold on, because the ride can be bumpy. But with an open mind and a lot of patience, it can also be deeply rewarding.
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