Buckle Up, Throw Out Parenting Playbook
Nov 05, 2025
“Buckle up...and throw everything you think you know out the window.”
This was a reply to my question, “What’s one piece of advice you wish someone had given you when your child became a teenager? I love it!
As I’ve said many times, as our kids grow and change, we need to grow and change as parents. What worked with a child of 5 or 9 won’t work with a teen. Out the window!
It’s time to buckle up for a ride unlike any you’ve experienced. The old ways won’t serve you well anymore.
๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ซ๐จ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ฌ ๐ญ๐๐๐๐ก๐๐ซ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐ญ๐๐๐ญ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐ฏ๐จ๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐จ๐ ๐ ๐ฎ๐ข๐๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ ๐๐จ๐ง๐๐ข๐๐๐ง๐ญ๐. Your time as the final authority with ultimate power is over.
*๐๐๐๐: This doesn’t mean that you give in, give up, and let chaos reign. There’s this thing called a boundary which comes into play. (We’ll get to that in another post.)
๐๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ข๐ญ ๐๐จ๐๐ฌ ๐ฆ๐๐๐ง ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ: ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐๐๐๐ฉ๐ญ๐๐ง๐๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ข๐ซ ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ข๐ซ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ง. ๐๐ ๐๐๐ง๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฆ.
Perhaps your child responds to threats, coercion and punishments. My way or the highway. Your teen may give in and do it your way; however, there is a great cost to both of you.
The teenage years are a period of rapid change—not just for your child, but for you as a parent. They’re growing more independent, questioning authority, and figuring out who they are, often in ways that feel defiant or confusing. If your methods aren’t working anymore, it’s time to change them.
๐๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐๐ง ๐๐จ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐๐๐ฉ๐ญ. Be prepared to listen more than you speak, show empathy even when they push your buttons, and allow for their mistakes and learning. Teenagers are exploring life and their identity. They need a safe space at home where they feel supported, not controlled.
Ultimately, parenting teens requires flexibility and a willingness to learn new things about them—and yourself. Hold on, because the ride can be bumpy. But with an open mind and a lot of patience, it can also be deeply rewarding.
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