When Conversations Become Battles: Choosing Curiosity Over Being Right
Oct 20, 2025
When conversations turn into debates, connection disappears.
Whether it’s politics or parenting, staying curious changes everything.
(Read to the end to see what this has to do with parenting.)
At a recent gathering, the unwanted topic of politics came up. I expressed my mistrust of a candidate, and was immediately confronted with all the reasons I should trust the candidate and why I was wrong. There was no discussion or debate. The other person was on both the defensive and offensive at the same time.
As for me, I was frustrated and didn't respond. That conversation was over, without either side feeling heard or understood (although I'm pretty sure they weren't worried about feeling understood).
And here's the thing: we don't have to agree. But it sure would be nice to have a respectful exchange of ideas.
We don't know how to talk to each other any more without taking an immovable stance. We hold on so tightly to our position that we stop listening.
And this happens at home, too. Parents and teens can get caught in the same pattern—each convinced they’re seeing things clearly, each trying to be heard, and neither truly listening.
Admit it: all too often you're thinking about your response. When conversations turn into battles of who’s right or wrong, connection gets lost.
As parents, we can choose to be the ones who soften first. To listen, to be curious, and to model what respectful disagreement looks like. That’s how we teach our kids that different perspectives aren’t a threat—they’re an opportunity to learn and understand, regardless of whether anyone changes their mind or not. It's not about winning, although it sure feels like it.
Let's change that up in our own homes.
Communication is at the heart of healthy, loving relationships. Let's talk about it. Schedule your free Parent Support Call at https://calendly.com/talktofern/discovery-call.
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