Courageous Parents: Trusting Your Teen's Journey

We all have an Achilles heel in parenting. Are you scared your kids will make mistakes, maybe irreparable mistakes, so you have an answer or solution for everything? Do you do things they should be doing because it's not up to your standards?

This 'doubter' voice inside your head is operating from fear and doesn't know what's best for you and your kids. But it is helpful to hear it... for a little while. It makes you aware of your faulty thinking, and then you can do something about it.

Imagine your parenting journey as navigating a ship through unpredictable waters. 𝙁𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙛𝙪𝙡 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙧, 𝙙𝙧𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙚𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥, 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙩 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙪𝙡𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙢𝙤𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙡𝙮. This anchor represents your constant worry and need to control every situation. While it might seem like it's keeping you safe, it's hindering your progress and that of your children.

The doubter isn't realistic, it's just fearful. Gradually tone down the fear so you can think about what really needs to be done.

That may generate more fear. Perhaps you don't want to deal with the pushback your kids will give you, or your partner doesn't see things the same way. Trust that things will work out; they always do.

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙠𝙞𝙙𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙟𝙤𝙗 𝙙𝙤𝙣𝙚. 𝙄𝙩’𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚.

Give them the chance to test themselves (and test your courage muscles). And if they make mistakes, great! It's a new opportunity for them to learn and do it better next time.

Fearful parenting often leads to micromanaging, which can stifle your teen's growth and independence. 𝙄𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙥𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣 𝙖𝙩 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙨𝙞𝙜𝙣 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙚, allow your children to experience the consequences of their actions. This is how they learn resilience and problem-solving skills.

Think of it as giving them the tools to build their own ships and navigate their own journeys. 𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙢𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙡 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙖𝙩 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚, 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙥𝙩 𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙤𝙧𝙨.

Just remember, once you know something, you can't 'un-know' it. Use your new-found knowledge and awareness to plan out your next step, and to nurture the courage you need to follow through. Your kids are depending on you to do it.

𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙙𝙤𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖 𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙨𝙚𝙩 𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙧-𝙗𝙖𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙡. 𝙊𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙙𝙫𝙞𝙘𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙚𝙚𝙣𝙨 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙙.

This approach not only builds their confidence but also strengthens your relationship with them. They will see you as a trusted advisor rather than a strict supervisor. 𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙧𝙤𝙡𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙨, 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢.

This may be the most challenging thing you do as a parent, but facing those challenges with courage and trust can lead to remarkable growth for both you and your children.

It's about finding a balance between offering support and allowing independence. This balance nurtures an environment where your teens can thrive, learning from their experiences and becoming responsible, capable adults.

So, be well, be strong, and be courageous parents. 𝙐𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙧𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙮 𝙪𝙣𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙧, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙖 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙡 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙘𝙩, which often works against your children.

Trust in your children's abilities and let go of the need for perfection and predictability. Your kids are not only capable of navigating their own paths but also need the space to do so. By stepping back, you're giving 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙜𝙞𝙛𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙖𝙡𝙡 – 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙨.