Do less for your children (so they feel better about themselves).
Jun 10, 2024Do you do and do and do for your kids? What are the potential benefits and downsides?
Benefits:
- You feel better when doing and giving.
- You feel more in control.
- Your child may truly need you to step in.
- Some things just need to be taken care of.
- You truly believe you’re doing something good.
Downsides:
- They take you for granted.
- You feel resentment.
- They come to expect that you’ll always do for them.
- You worry that they’re becoming too dependent on you.
- They stop believing in themselves because you stopped believing in them.
- They don’t have chances to fix their mistakes.
- They lose confidence and motivation.
Is that enough to make you stop, think and look for a better way to parent?
The reality is that good intentions often work against us and the children we love. The more we do for them, the less they are able to do for themselves.
And even though they push back, our children desperately need us to nudge them into being responsible for themselves so they can function without us.
This is our fundamental job as parents: to prepare our children for life on their own.
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