The Meaningless Apology

#apologies #parenting teens emotional intelligence relationships Apr 29, 2024

 

In the beginning apologies feel good. You’ve been heard and your hurt acknowledged. After a while, though, apologies from the same person are empty, just a formula.

If there’s no change in their behavior, the apology is more of a get-out-of-jail-free card. A way for them to make nice and hope it all goes away.

*Remember, this may be about you, too. Please take it to heart, especially when apologizing to the people you care about most.

Let’s connect this to parenting.

Do you remember when your child was a toddler, and you insisted they apologize for hitting, taking another child’s toy, or another infraction?

They were too young to do anything but be ruled by big feelings.

As they get older, it’s time to teach them critical self-regulation skills:

* to be aware of their emotions when or just after they appear
* to examine how their emotions affect their state of mind
* to understand the effect of their reactions on those around them
* to encourage them to be gentle with themselves

This is the beginning of emotional intelligence, and a prelude to the meaningful apology. It’s followed by a willingness to look at oneself and develop new ways to cope with feelings.

Ultimately, these skills lead to more loving, trusting relationships. And that’s what life is about, isn’t it?

If this made you sit up and think, “She’s talking about me and my kid”, I can help. Let’s schedule a call. https://bit.ly/3J9wxzz

 

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