Raising The Bar: Setting Realistic Expectations
Nov 05, 2025
What does raising the bar look like for you? What expectations do you have for your children? Setting high expectations can motivate and inspire growth, if the bar isn’t set unrealistically high.
𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉, it can lead to stress, frustration, or even shutdown. For children to thrive, it’s essential to find a balance between encouraging progress and setting achievable goals.
In my experience as a teacher, I saw many students struggle with organization and keeping track of assignments. Meetings with parents and school counselors often resulted in long lists of expectations or tasks that children were suddenly expected to accomplish.
Imagine being handed a list like that—it can feel overwhelming, even paralyzing. Some 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒔𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒚 𝒈𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒖𝒑, 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒅𝒆𝒇𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒅. It’s too much, too quickly. For these students, just remembering to put finished homework in their backpack was a major accomplishment.
𝑮𝒐𝒂𝒍𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒌𝒔 𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒂 𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒓, 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒑𝒔. Start with the big picture but implement changes gradually. Recognize and celebrate small achievements along the way, because nothing builds momentum and confidence like success.
By breaking down larger goals and working step by step, you help your child develop the skills and resilience they need to make steady progress.
𝑸𝒖𝒐𝒕𝒆:
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” – Arthur Ashe
𝑹𝒆𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏:
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What expectations have I set for my child, and are they realistic?
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How might my child feel about the expectations I set?
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