When "Good Moms" Say No: Why You Must Set a Boundary
Sep 14, 2025
Standing up for yourself doesn’t mean putting others down. Let’s talk about realistic, effective boundaries.
Parents are notorious for struggling with boundaries. I was (and still am, sometimes) one of them.
We’ve been conditioned—especially moms—to believe we should always be available, putting everyone else’s needs first. The “good mother” ignores her needs, loses her identity, and has trouble saying no. That’s not healthy for anyone.
A boundary is not about cutting off connection. In relationships, it’s what you do to protect yourself:
✔️ Be clear about what is okay and not okay for you
✔️ Be honest about what you will and won’t tolerate
✔️ Respect and tend to your needs
✔️ Help others know what to expect
A boundary is not:
❌ a brick wall
❌ an ultimatum or punishment
❌ disrespect or judgment
(Sometimes, protecting your peace does mean distance from someone you love. That’s hard, but necessary.)
Here’s what I’ve learned about boundaries:
✨ Not everything is my business.
✨ I have just as much right to nurture myself as anyone else.
✨ My kids get a distorted view of relationships when there are no boundaries.
✨ I don’t want to be angry and resentful.
✨ Only I can truly speak up for me.
When I set a boundary, it’s for me. I rehearse it, keep it neutral and respectful, and remind myself that love and connection matter most.
Boundaries aren’t brick walls. They’re healthy spaces that give everyone the chance to become their best selves.
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