When Your Child Leaves for College…

What’s Next for You?

It’s that time of year again.

Suitcases are being packed. Dorm rooms are being outfitted. Parents are buying last-minute supplies, and trying not to think too much about the moment they’ll drive away and leave their child at college.

For many parents — and especially for mothers — this can be an emotional gut punch.

You may have spent years organizing your life around your children. Their schedules,  activities and needs. Their meals, problems, and friends. Their futures.

And then, suddenly, they leave.

The house is quieter. Your days have empty spaces in them. And you may wonder:

What am I supposed to do with myself now?

First, let yourself feel whatever you feel.

•   You can be enormously proud of your child and be heartbroken they’re leaving.
•   You can be excited for them and sad for yourself.
•   You can miss them terribly and still know this is what you’ve been raising them to do.

Those feelings can coexist.

But there’s another question worth asking:
What if this transition isn't only about what you're losing? What if it's also about what you're gaining?

Your child is off to explore a brave new world.
Why shouldn’t you?

For years, you may have put dreams, interests, adventures, and even parts of yourself on hold. Not necessarily because anyone told you to—but because raising children required your time, attention, energy, and sacrifice.

Now you have an opportunity:

🙋🏼‍♀️  Maybe there’s something you've always wanted to learn.
🙋🏼‍♀️  A place you've always wanted to visit.
🙋🏼‍♀️  A book you've wanted to write.
🙋🏼‍♀️  A class you've wanted to take.
🙋🏼‍♀️  A business you've wanted to start.
🙋🏼‍♀️  A hobby you've forgotten you loved.

Or maybe you don't have a big dream waiting in the wings. Maybe you simply want to figure out who you are when you're not needed the same way.

Your child's new stage doesn't mean your job as a parent is over. There will still be plenty of opportunities to love, support, encourage, and worry about them.

But your role is changing.
And perhaps that's not something to fear.
Perhaps it's something to explore.

Remember those dreams you put on hold.

Not because you owe it to yourself to suddenly become a different person.
Not because you need to fill every empty hour.
And not because you shouldn't miss your child.

But because your life is still yours.

Your child is heading off to discover who they are and what they're capable of.

Maybe it's time for you to do a little discovering, too.

Your child isn't the only one leaving home for a new adventure.

This is your time, too. Go forth and explore 🧭.

P.S. - We can all use a little help adjusting to the different stages of our child’s life. There’s more about this in “Leashes, Lessons, and Love: What Dogs Teach Us About Raising Our Kids and Ourselves.” This book will become your parenting companion with personal (and often humorous) stories about me, my kids, and our dogs, as well as some parenting tips and scripts along the way. 

Order your copy here: https://fernweisbook.com/book. After you do, I’d love to hear what is most helpful for you.